Meet Natalie. Mama to three littles who recently traded the California beach life for Texas country living. As a talented designer, writer, and all around creative person, Natalie, shares openly on her Instagram about her motherhood journey and how she balances it all while maintaining her own identity and sense of self. Read on for a Q&A!
Did you always know you wanted to be a mother?
I always knew I would have kids - it was always something I wanted - I was just never the girl that daydreamed about being a mother. I was usually focused on what I was achieving, creating, or accomplishing. As the time grew closer, my biggest fear was in losing myself - in losing the things that I thought made me me. I met an amazing woman who came to be a great friend and it was in witnessing her - the way she lovingly mothered, the way she ran her business, the way she stood radiantly in her own sense of self - that I knew I was “ready”. Ultimately, I realized I’d never feel “ready” but I was more excited about it than I was scared. I saw in her an example of the kind of mother I desired to be and proof that it was possible.
Tell me about your motherhood journey?
Motherhood has been the most challenging, out-of-my-comfort-zone, stretchy experience that has brought me to my knees time and time again in surrender to the growth, healing, and alchemy that lives there when I become open and available for it. It has taught me how to hold myself in feeling a fuller range of physical sensation in my body - from the tight clench of dread when we worry about our children to the absolute ecstatic bliss and all consuming love in meeting our child for the first time or witnessing the magic in their eyes. It has showed me how to mother and nurture myself, reminding me of the importance of my own vitality and how that contributes to the thriving ecosystem of our family. It is a constant invitation to shift my perspective, to arrive more presently in each moment, and to fiercely protect the desires of my heart and visions I have for myself, my children, our family, and the greater collective.
What’s been something unexpected about motherhood for you?
I did lose myself in motherhood - I lost who I thought I was only to discover who I truly am. Motherhood unraveled me in all the ways I didn’t know I needed. Through a beautifully happy but messy journey full of ups and downs and roundabouts and scenic routes, it taught me to find my worth within rather than in external accomplishments and achievements. It softened me. It showed me that many of the things I thought I wanted, I didn’t actually want at all. It showed me what was truly important to me. It helped me shed old identities that had reached their expiration date. It awakened dormant parts of me that brought me more alive and deepened my sense of contentment. It brought me home to my truest nature and a felt sense of wholeness I have never experienced before. It led to my greatest metamorphosis.